I woke up this morning with a song in my head. I donít know if you remember the TV series "Once upon a time on earth". Well, the part of the lyrics I heard was: "once upon a time there was a lonely and dark planet, and then, when the light came it discovered a wonderful world of color".
For me to wake up in this state of happiness is not usual, even though today is Sunday.
The night before I received another Diksha with Alexis and I felt full of a delicious happiness and a wonderful, magic feeling of.........peace :)
While I looked at my face in the mirror this morning I asked myself if I was very far away from enlightenment. Iíve been receiving Dikshas for the last few weeks and the changes that I have experienced are as wonderful as transforming......and sometimes overwhelming!
I have had :) a mind stronger then steel (and thatís for sure because I know it from birth) and I only could only quiet it through music and meditation.
When I had to come down to earth and leave my state of happiness behind reached through music or meditation; there was always a place in my mind for my ego, my pride, my justification. Many times I desired to feel completely free from this trap, I mean, this controlling mind that was so damn afraid to disappear. Sometimes, when I reached the point of maximum enlightenment, I could imagine how it would be to live life in the outside world just the way I was living it in my inside world.
It would be a Walt Disney World in which men and women laugh; full of peace.
Love is pure and flows wherever you can see and feel, solving things with love and smiles, honesty, pureness, magic ... and naÔvetť exists....
Well, when I started to receive Dikshas; the dream started to become true!
Every Diksha that I received removed the ground from under my very feet. Even though I had done a lot of work with myself "peeling the onion", uncovering the layers of myself for the last two years, reaching out for the real me.........
The transmission of this Divine Energy was knocking me straight to the very core of myself!
With every Diksha that I received I could feel that something was happening to me. Sometimes I felt very sad searching desperately for some protective arms. Other times I would feel upset as if all this transforming energy entering would raise up the veils inside me and remove all my darkness as well. Sometimes I would just stay there, mute, without saying a word for a long time........feeling just this large expanding feeling of reaching out; not knowing where but feeling a deep state of peace.
The most wonderful thing that is happening to me receiving Dikshas is that at last Iím passing the wall of my ego, my mind and my selfishness.
I have 3 friends that have shown me a lot of things about life and right now Iím just saying good bye to them with love because you really donít know how incredible it is to live and feel united to Him. To feel that every little thing that I do, think or say comes straight from my heart, my soul, my unity with God. Iíve always wondered if it was necessary to live life with such painful suffering. My soul showed me a lot of times what it was like to live in a state of bliss for a few seconds........but then "this reality" would come back again and the sensation for happiness was gone. Now Iím feeling it for sure......and for ever)
One day I decided that in this life I was gonna live it absolutely happy........and my soul guided me to the best path to achieve it. There are no words to describe this sensation of security, peace, smiling lips like I have right now on my face because Iím feeling completely loved by only ONE that can really love me in the way I always wanted: God. Yes he is my family, thatís the truth. He is peace, bliss and happiness. He is my rest, my lover, my protector. I drown in Him and I grasp His hands with both of mine and I look at Him with my eyes opened wide and surprised and He laughs at me for my insecurity.
Yes.......thatís the way it is! Only He gives me what I need, and I just want to keep living my life in Him. And this feeling has nothing to do with sharing your life with your couple, friends, family....God is in all of them (this is for the people who may think that I decide to live a monastic life......jajajajajajajaja!!!)
NO!!!!......I decide to live MY life absolutely happy........and the way to achieve it is to live and feel that Iím in Godís consciousness, free from my ego and my mind. And also sharing my life in a couple, because Godís purpose is that ALL of us, men and women, would live enlightened. Live in our own light that is HIS light.
By the way......feeling the way Iím feeling now is the most delicious and fun thing that can happen to you. Iíve been smiling alone for a long time this morning and Iím telling you that this experience is priceless!!!!!!!
A hug full with love for all of you. Hope all of you will see the real Light soon too!